Deathless Prose

Another post? Yes, but a much briefer one this time.

I love 1:72 scale armoured vehicles. Mostly I buy them as kits and build and paint them myself, but on occasion I treat myself to one ready-made. A few weeks ago I did this with the rather wonderfully named ‘Selbstfahrlafette‘. This was a German self-propelled anti-tank gun from the early 1940s, but evidently not a very successful one, as only a couple of prototypes were built. Anyway, the model is made by a company called ‘Easy Model‘, based in Macau, and they have put information on the real vehicle on the back of the box.

Well, I say they have put information there. What is actually available is some of the most magnificent gobbledegook I have ever seen on a retail item. Allow me to quote the full paragraph, since one of the reasons I bought the model in the first place was that I was just so tickled by this pigswill that I wanted to possess it in perpetuity. Every word and punctuation mark is as it appears on the box:

German 12.8cm Selbstfahrlafette

Henschel was authorised to carry on the development of VK3001 in September of 1938, and has made 4 chassises during the period from March of 1941 to October, among them two were repacked into the heavy-duty anti-tank gun and attacked and wipe out the car at the beginning of 1942, install antitank gun that 128mm. of antiaircraft guns refitted. 128mmSFL/61 is used in in the east line fighting , one of them was captured in 1943, the photo of another one showed that there are 22 combat successes in it.

Matchless, I think you’ll agree.

If anyone from Easy Model reads this – you desperately need a copyeditor, and I am happy to volunteer!

Your moment of Zen:

An LNER A4, the famous ‘Mallard’, pounds through cutting as a pair of Achilles tank destroyers pass a column of soldiers heading back to their barracks.

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About Gavin

I am a 32-year-old PhD student in Aberdeen, Scotland. I work in QC at an e-learning company. I'm originally Northern Irish, though I've lived here in Aberdeen for several years. I am, essentially, somebody who is very normal, yet to whom very strange things keep happening...
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2 Responses to Deathless Prose

  1. Browne the Younger says:

    Ah, the dangers of online translators…

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